THE PSYCHOLOGY OF COMPROMISING: A SIMPLE WAY TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP GOING STRONG

What if love wasn’t the act of finding what you were missing but the give-and-take that made you both match? — Jodi Picoult

Do you know that Friendships, Partnerships, and Relationships, are based on making compromises? In fact, life revolves around this.

It simply implies that you may have to give up certain parts of what you think to be correct while accepting changes that your partner may bring about that you do not necessarily like or accept. To enjoy your relationship, your partner must reciprocate the same “give and take.” Sometimes, these changes are generally gradual and develop over time, maybe small but would never go unnoticed.

This brings us to the fact that, if you desire to have that relationship you have always wished or prayed for, be ready to give and not be on the receiving side only.

To be honest, give and take (compromising) does not come in terms of material gifts only. It has to do with making efforts, understanding, reciprocating communication, and love, etc. Obviously, there will be squabbles but what matters is how both of you both react to it. Your relationship can only be worked upon by both sides. It’s a two-way street.

Also, the truth is, if love isn’t reciprocated, you wouldn’t stay happy. And once that happens, several other feelings start kicking in. You get sad, irritated, angry, depressed, etc. Resulting in either you sorting it out or part.

No relationship is built on unconditional love. Be it with your partner, friend, or your family, everyone expects ‘something’. A small gesture, respect, words of love, advice, gifts, a shoulder to cry on, help, etc may be termed as reciprocating their love.

Truthfully, if you are with the right person, compromising and reciprocating wouldn’t be a taxing job. You get to receive as much as you give or even more at times. The truth is, your relationship would work depending on how much work you put in.

I’m yet to see a perfect relationship however, I’ve seen healthy ones and they live on the psychology of ‘give and take’.

3 major ways to have a give and take relationship

Communication

The place of communication can never be overemphasized. It is an important aspect of a healthy relationship that makes you know and understand each other better. As a result, it enables you both to see compromising as an easy fit.

Mutual help

A relationship where your partner does the most puts in the effort and you always refuse to provide help to the same extent is imbalanced and unfulfilling. Helping each other is an easy way to have the best relationship

Create time

You both have to work on how to create time for each other always. If you do it always, clearing your schedule without your partner reciprocating, gets draining and you might give up.

Even though we live in a generation with a stereotype about relationships where the man has to do the giving while the lady does more of the receiving. If you want your relationship to work, then you care for him as much as he does for you. Emma Goldman said, “If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus.”

You should know that the act of giving as much as receiving deepens and increases trust in relationships. I know there is no rule to how relationships work; however, this is an important attribute you have to apply in your relationship.

Take for example:

“A female friend of mine got into this relationship over a year ago, and she always has been on the giving part. I mean little and big things ranging from money, gifts, attention, constant checking up and all. She felt it was a normal thing until she could take it no more. Got to a point their days were constantly filled with complaints. She’s not tired of giving, but she wants it reciprocated yet her partner never did, which led to the end of the relationship”.

“I have another friend who gets as much as she gives out in her relationship”.

Without saying much, you’d know which you want between both and which would last.

Something I discovered is you cannot blame those who do not know how to give, they probably grew up where they were not taught how to give. Also, some grew up where they never received.

However, it can be taught and learned. Although it might be difficult in the beginning or make you feel awkward. But if you want improvement not only in your relationship but also in your life, doing these things would help.

Remember this always, “Relationships can only survive on give and take if they’re going to work in the long term.”