Unrequited Love: What it is and How to Move on

Problems can be fixed. But unrequited love is a tragedy. — Suzanne Harper

Love is one of the most beautiful man would over experience especially when your feelings are reciprocated. It becomes heartbreaking when you experience unrequited love.

You know the moment you have strong romantic feelings toward someone only to find out they do not feel the same. A one-sided feeling that leaves you in pain and heartbreak.

Unrequited love is one of the most painful things to happen to you when you are in love. However, the truth is, almost every single one has experienced this, crushing on someone secretly for months or years or that friend you love, and you are not getting your feelings returned. A long-term relationship that turns out the feelings were never the same. Then you start dealing with the thought of how you would never be enough.

If you’re hurting now or have struggled in the past, you should take your time to read this and know why you are struggling to get your love reciprocated.

1. You think you can make the other person see how perfect you are for them, buy them gifts, show how much you want them, and hope they will reciprocate.

Love definitely doesn’t work like this — the more we try to persuade, plead, and make them see reasons why you should be together, the further we push them away. It’s manipulative to demand that anyone feel the same way you feel for them.

2. You think he/she is your significant other

If he or she is really for you, I doubt there would be a need to persuade them to love you. Love comes willingly without much persuasion or plea. You can take different things with force, but love doesn’t work that way.

3. The other person gives you a mixed-signal

There is a possibility that you are not entirely to blame for how you feel. The other person could give you a reason to believe things are going to change. Maybe there are times when they show signs of loving you and then deny it later, and then you find yourself trying to understand their intentions.

Whatever scenario they are painting gives you hope, remember the brutal truth — people who want you don’t make it hard. If you find yourself trying to deduce how someone feels about you, walk away. Know your value, and don’t negotiate the importance of it.

4. You’re scared of losing them

Ask yourself, if this person vanished from my life, what’s going to change? Be truthful to yourself, no matter how difficult your answers are.

Once you know this, start thinking of ways to make things right for yourself. Failure to address this makes it extremely difficult to let go.

5. You’re scared of what people would say.

You probably have been keeping the relationship going, and now you cannot get out because you fear what people would say, how they would react. Be aware that if you do not get out, these people will blame you. So, do what makes you happy.

How to overcome unrequited love

Love yourself

You need to love yourself first. Self-love is a healthy practice that cannot be overemphasized. Therefore, create alone time for yourself, have fun outside any romantic relationship, and in fact indulge in all of your favorite activities. Trust me, self-love is an effective solution to overcoming unrequited love. If you do not love yourself first, you will continue to experience unrequited love. Now, the choice is yours to make.

Set boundaries for yourself

You need to stop making the mistake of feeding your obsession when you need to starve it. You need to set boundaries and this might come in form of ending all forms of communication with the other person. Try to kill the urge to contact them, this would help you in regaining your control and enable you to focus on yourself.

Acceptance

You need to accept the fact that the other person does not feel the same for you. This is definitely a tough one but it needs to be done.

Socializing

Resist the urge to stay indoors because this is a doorway to depression. Go out with friends, visit your family. This is one of the best ways to get over this feeling and if need be, talk to a trusted person about it.

Likewise, spend most of your time around people who would not remind you of them. Because it is not healthy for you to keep getting reminded of someone who doesn’t love you back especially during the healing process. Therefore, commit yourself to be around people who you love and reciprocate this feeling.

Know you are not alone

Undisputed, love, heartbreak, loss, unreciprocated love, etc are experienced differently by people. Nonetheless, you need to know you are not alone. Therefore, understanding this is a common occurrence in most people’s lives might help relieve the feeling of embarrassment.

Final Words

Unrequited love can be painful and heartbreaking. But it is possible to let go, heal and grow from it. However, to get these, you need to accept the truth of the situation and create distance. This will allow you to move on.